Santa: is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?
Santa: replies "Saali train late aati hai to socha kahi bhook se na mar jau..

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santa in Coffee shop wth wife.
santar:Jldi Pi, Coffee thandi ho Jaye gi.
Wife:ki frk painda hai?
Srdar: Bywakof Rate List dekh
Hot coffee Rs.15
Cold coffee.45
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Train Chali, Santa 1 Dibbe Mai Char Gaye..
TT Bola: Kyun Paa Ji, Nazar Nhe Aate, Ye Ladies Ka
Dibba Hai.
Santa Ji: Sorry Ji, Mere Ko Laga Aap Mard Ho.
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Santa:Train me raat bhar nind nhi ayi,
upr ki seat mili thi, garmi bahut thi.
Banta:To xchnge krna tha
Santa:Kisse krta?
Niche ki seat pe koi aya hi nahi.

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पत्नी : "आप ने कल बहुत अधिक शराब पी रखी थी..😡"

पति : "नही .कुछ ज्यादा . नही पी थी.😅"


पतनी : "फिर क्यों आप नल के पास बेठकर नल को बोल रहे थे .. 'रो मत सब ठीक हो जायेगा'..😡"
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Banta: Yeh chaku kyu ubal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zarurat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaye.
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बाबूजी कहते है की शिक्षा सबका हक है..
इसलिए मैने सोचा
.
.
.
ज्यादा पढाई करके किसी का हक क्यों मारूँ...
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Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.

Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho

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santa 2 doctor-apne kaha tha ki subah khelne se sehat thik rehti hai pr muje to koi fark nai pada?
doctor-konsa game khelteho?
santa-mobile mai snake wala

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Santa Patni se: Shanti ko bolayo!
Jeeto: Kaun kam wali?
Santa: Ha
Jeeto: Kyo?
Santa: Doctor ne bola hai ki sirdard ki goli khayo aur
Shanti ke sath so jayo!
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Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
Banta- to isme prob kya hai?
Santa-
pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nhi
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संता: डाक्टर साहब मैं चश्मा लगाकर
पढ़ तो सकूंगा न?
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डाक्टर: हाँ हाँ बिल्कुल।
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संता: थैन्क यू डाक्टर साहब आपने
अनपढ़ आदमी की जिंदगी
बना दी।
,
डॉक्टर साहब खुद के अस्पताल
में भर्ती !! 😂😂😀😂😂
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santa aur banta k bich mai fight ho rahi thi
banta:- saale mai tere kapde phaad k tujhe naanga kar doonga
santa:- dekh serious ladai mai romantic baat mat kar
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संता – यार मेरे एक कमीने दोस्त ने चुपके से
मेरी गर्लफ्रेंड का नंबर मेरे मोबाईल से चुरा लिया

बंता – फिर क्या हुआ मेरे भाई ?

संता –
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होना क्या था,
कमीना सुबह से अपनी ही बहन को रोमांटिक मैसेज भेज रहा है

 
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Police To Santa: Jail Me Kaise Aana Hua?
Sir: Media Wali Ladki Ki Wajah Se
Police: Wo Kaise?
Uski T-shirt Pe Likha Tha "Press"
Maine Daba Diya!!
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Santa aur Jeeto mai larai ho gayi, Santa ghar se chala gaya
Santa raat ko phone pe: Khane mai kya hai?
Jeeto: Zehar
Husb: Mai dair se aaonga, tum kha kar so jana

Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swaad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te huye: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

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संता पुलिस स्टेशन आया और बोला: मुझे अर्रेस्ट कर लो, मैंने अपनी पत्नी के सर पर डंडा मारा है!

पुलिस: क्या वो मर गई?

संता: नहीं वो तो बच गई, अब मेरी खैर नहीं!
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Patient: Santa, ye phulo ki mala kis k liye?
Santa: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nhi to tmhare liye.
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Santa Ko Beta Hua. Use Jyotish Ke Pass Le Gaye
Jyotish:Ye Jiska Naam Pehle Bolega Wo mar Jyega
Baccha Bola "PAPA" Aur Dusre Din Padosi Mar Gya
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Haryanvi: Ke kare hai beta?
Ladka: Civil Engineer hu!
Haryanvi: Vo ke hove se?
Ladka: Building banata hu!
Haryanvi: Achha, mistri hai!
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Pati ne Patni ko vash me karne ke liye ek Baba se tabiz li!
ek mahine bad Pati baba se bola: Baba Patni par koi asar nahi,
par padosan vash me a gayee! Baba: Effect na sahi, side effect to huya!
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Masterji: kl school kyu nhi aya.
Santa: Gir gya tha or lg gayi.
Masterji: kaha gire, kaha lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur ANKH lg gyi..

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Santa: Mobile me kuch MP3 Songs Load karwana hai.

Servicing Man: Memory card hai?

Santa: Nahi! Ration Card chalega kya?

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SANTA:Lalaji dettol soap hai,
Lala:ha,
santa:acha vala hai,
Lala:ha,
Santa: achi quality ka hai,
Lala:ha bhai ha,
Santa: thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do..

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Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta: nhi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen ke kha lena.
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